It’s that wonderful time of the year: presents have been received; the carols have finished, and now comes long stretch of parties and socialising that lasts until the New Year. Here at the headtail connection we know that dancers can be difficult to entertain. We don’t like to sit down. We often have cruel and unusual dietary requirements. But most of all, we’re really hard to talk to.
I know there are plenty of people reading this blog who know, in the very depths of their soul, that this festive season their job will be reduced to a comparative analysis of So You Think You Can Dance. Again. You’ll have relatives who can’t differentiate your successes from your failures, and friends who think your backbreaking job is the last phase of an extended hobby.
This year, all you have to do in advance is present your friends and family with this handy hosting guide.
Those of you here in a panic because you have a dancer coming to dinner, this is your one stop solution to stress-free entertaining: simply work out what kind of dancer you’re dealing with (spotter’s tips included), and follow these very easy prompts.
Look out for: standing on one foot while the other sticks turned-out to the side.
Wearing: a draping cardigan and heels.
Most likely to be eating: very very fast.
Favourite tipple: white wine.
Ideal Gift: pointe shoes.
Bad: Do you have to watch your weight over Christmas?
Better: What are you excited about in the repertoire this season?
Best: What do you think we should do about the lack of female choreographers?
Look out for: contact improvisation with the furniture.
Wearing: stretch fabric and leggings.
Most likely to be eating: gluten free.
Favourite tipple: artisanal beer.
Ideal Gift: studio space.
Bad: So what is contemporary dance?
Better: Whose work should I introduce myself to this year?
Best: How do you think the London/New York dance scene compares with Europe?
Look out for: raiding your bookshelves.
Wearing: eye bags and a great scarf.
Most likely to be eating: vegetarian.
Favourite tipple: red wine.
Ideal Gift: ask to read their work.
Bad: Can you actually get a PhD in dance?
Better: What good books have you read recently?
Best: What’s the best use of interdisciplinary methods you’ve seen this year?
Look out for: absently-mindedly marking steps with hands.
Wearing: accessories with a school logo.
Most likely to be eating: at all hours.
Favourite tipple: gin.
Ideal Gift: a spotify subscription.
Bad: Don’t you just wish you were performing?
Better: What are you proud of in your students this year?
Best: I hate that dance is losing ground as part of education, how could we do that better?
Look out for: bouncing in seat whenever anything with a swung rhythm comes on.
Most likely to be eating: paleo.
Favourite tipple: whiskey.
Ideal Gift: event passes.
Bad: Aren’t there better ways to get a man?
Better: When was your last exchange?
Best: Could you swing out to this?
Happy holidays readers!
If you’ve got another dancer you want to add to the guide, please leave suggestions in the comments.