Hello friends, it’s been a tumultuous year, which can only mean that it’s time for the second installment of my holiday dancers guide! This year we’re focusing on modern and contemporary dancers, for the specialist spotter. If you haven’t seen the original guide, you can read it here. Enjoy!
Duncan Dancer
Look out for: Unexpected skipping, knocking things down with scarves
Favourite tipple: White wine
Wearing: Grecian drapery
Ideal Gift: Flowers
Political Stance: I see America weeping
Conversation Starters
Bad: Have you tried my new motorcar?
Better: How do myths relate to us now?
Best: What invigorates your soul motor?
Graham Dancer
Look out for: Standing perfectly still, wild-eyed, as the room swirls around in chaos
Favourite tipple: THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES
Wearing: THE BLOOD OF MY ENE … Black.
Ideal Gift: Eye makeup
Political Stance: Movement never lies, but Trump…..
Conversation Starters
Bad: Aren’t you getting a bit old for this kind of thing?
Better: How do you think Jung would interpret this party if it were a dream?
Best: Can you tell me something about yourself?
Cunningham Dancer
Look out for: Turning the christmas tree into modern art
Favourite tipple: Guinness
Wearing: Brightly coloured leggings
Ideal Gift: A blank canvas
Political Stance: Come away with me to Black Mountain…
Conversation Starters
Bad: Can you count this music?
Better: How could we stage an Event in here?
Best: What is the alignment of democracy and chaos?
Judson Dancer
Look out for: Unexplained durational activity, accompanied by blank staring
Favourite tipple: Vodka
Wearing: Beads, feathers, and a small ornamental birdcage
Ideal Gift: You really can’t go wrong here
Political Stance: NO Manifesto
Conversation Starters
Bad: Is this art?
Better: What is art?
Best: Does art matter?
Release Dancer
Look out for: Sitting on anything except a chair
Favourite tipple: Wheat beer
Wearing: Hemp and bamboo
Ideal Gift: Tennis balls
Political Stance: Semi-supine
Conversation Starters
Bad: Is there any technique to what you do?
Better: Why is ballet evil?
Best: How are your fascia doing?
Got another kind of dancer you want added to the guide? Comment below!
